Embracing the Art of Gentle Living

During our younger years, we’re looking for excitement.  We want to charge at life.  And given that during our younger years we have some excess energy to burn, having a highly active lifestyle in our youth isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  But as we get older, we realize that kind of lifestyle is a recipe for burnout.  We then come to realize that gentle living is the way to be content and relaxed.

What does it mean to live gently?  Well, gentle living means living more quietly.  More thoughtfully.  It means taking a more reserved and wiser approach to how we interact with others, animals and the earth. 

The reality is that we’re meant to live gently.   We all know this to be true.  For instance, if we have a hurried day, during which we run from one activity to the next, we feel terrible. Or, if we spend the day arguing with others, we likewise feel awful.

By contrast, at the end of a quiet day, walking in nature, we feel good.  And when we treat the other people, animals and the earth carefully, we feel good about ourselves and our place in the world.

So, a gentle lifestyle is a lifestyle that works. Below are six ways to embrace the art of gentle living:

Adopt a Slower Pace of Life

There are lots of books and articles out there about how to be more productive.  And they offer great tips on increasing your productivity.  But none of those books and articles offer an answer to this question: “Why?  Why do I need to be so productive?” I can’t offer an answer to that question.

Now, I’m not suggesting that laziness is a good idea.  After all, you shouldn’t spend your precious hours on this earth eating chips and watching television. 

But hyper-productivity isn’t good either.  Trying to accomplish as much as possible in the span of one day isn’t good for our mental health.  Rather, it leads to exhaustion and frustration.  The extra things that can accomplish by being super productive simply aren’t worth it.

So, the key to a good life isn’t to focus on productivity. Rather, the key is to focus on living gently.  And that means adopting a slower pace of life.  The best way to do that is to have periods during the day in which you are productive, and then have periods during the day for rest and reflection. 

It’s also important to approach tasks slowly and with care. For instance, I’m a big believer in taking my time with any task.  I’m not an emergency room doctor, so from my point of view, there’s nothing in my life that qualifies as an “emergency.”  So, I don’t rush.  Instead, I do things at my own pace.  And here’s what I’ve found:  When I go at a slower pace, I do everything better.  My work product is higher quality.  And I’m much more relaxed.

So, embrace taking life at a slower pace.  Yes, you may do less each day.  But the things that you do, you’ll do well.  And you’ll be so much more relaxed and happier!

Be Kind and Gentle with Your Words and Actions

Gentle living involves gentle behavior.  That means being kind and gentle with both our words and our actions. 

Realize that nothing good comes from aggressive behavior.  Yes, you can go through life being aggressive, dominating people and getting your way.  But realize that if you operate like that, you’ll make everyone around you miserable.  And while other people may put up with you, they won’t like you. 

Over the years, I’ve known people who chose to go through life being foul and demanding.  And not surprisingly, they suffered the consequences for their behavior.  At a certain point, their spouses divorced them.  And their children and family members stopped dealing with them.  If they’d only chosen to go through life gently, they would have had positive relationships with others and lived much better lives.

So, if you are seeking to have a good life, go through life gently.  Use soft, mindful language – especially when you’re upset.  Choose compassion over criticism, when interacting with others.  I promise you that if you go through life treating others gently, you’ll be rewarded with a beautiful life.

Create a Gentle Home Environment

To live gently, you want to have a home environment that’s gentle.  That, in part, means keeping a tidy home. After all, clutter is visually and mentally stressful.  You also want to have soft, natural lighting and natural elements interspersed throughout your home.  For instance, in my own home, I decorate with houseplants, which creates a serene atmosphere.

In addition, to create a gentle home environment, you want to reduce the noise.  Over the years, my husband and I have gotten rid of nearly all noise.  We almost never turn on the television.  And if we listen to music, we typically play either classical or jazz music in the background.   We live in a rural area, with plenty of trees, so most of the time, we simply choose to enjoy the sounds of birds and the breeze.

Your home environment is a critical part of your gentle lifestyle.  Don’t take it for granted.  Make it peaceful in both sound and sight, and see how much calmer you feel.

Be Gentle with Your Body

Our bodies serve us from the moment we’re born until the moment we die.  So, we need to take good care of our bodies.  That means eating good, nourishing food, such as you might find in the Mediterranean diet.  And it means exercising and stretching our bodies through activities like yoga and walking.  We also need to protect our skin with sunscreen.

Most importantly, we need to be gentle with how we view our bodies.  Unfortunately, we live in a world in which people can be quite critical about the physical appearance of others.  I could wax on about how stupid, unkind and juvenile that is, but I’ll refrain. 

What I can say is this: When it comes to your body, appreciate it. Compliment it! Cherish it!! And certainly don’t abuse it, and don’t allow anyone else to abuse it either.  Your body is going to take you through this life.  Be very, very good to it.  And most importantly, treat your body gently.

Set Boundaries Gently

One of the most important skills that you can master is to set your boundaries with other people.  I’ll concede that’s not an easy skill to master.  But it’s a skill that’s life changing.  In fact, it’s the key to your having a peaceful life.

When we set boundaries, we simply choose not to engage with people who are difficult, and we choose not to participate in situations that make us uncomfortable. The key to effectively setting boundaries is to learn how to do it gently.  Now, I know that’s hard!  That’s because when you try to set boundaries with difficult individuals, they’ll push back and do whatever they can to create a drama.

The best way to gently set boundaries is simply walk away. Learn to walk away from situations which are uncomfortable and from people who are toxic. Realize that there’s nothing wrong with walking away from a conversation, situation or relationship that’s making you miserable.  And realize that you don’t have to offer an explanation for doing so.  You can just walk away quietly and gently, without arguing or defending yourself. And in that way, you can keep your peace.

Treat the Earth Gently

Unfortunately, many people in our society have a perverse view of the earth and animals.  They consider the earth and animals to be there for their use.  To plunder.  To eat.  And to abuse, if they feel like it.

And legally, I guess human beings can do all of those things.  We can treat animals poorly and then eat them.  We can dump garbage into the ocean.  And we can build housing developments, roads and manufacturing plants, without regard to our impact on the flora and fauna.

The problem is that just because you can legally do something, that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.  When we treat the earth and animals poorly, we stop being moral.  Instead, we become immoral. We become individuals who are willing to use whatever is available on this earth for our benefit, with no thought to the suffering that we are causing.

To live gently means to have a moral relationship with the earth.  And that means treating the earth and its animals with care. 

My daughter is a wonderful example of how to relate morally to the earth.  She cares deeply about the earth and its creatures.  As a result, she has adopted a vegan diet to cause as little harm as possible to animals.  And she adopted two disabled cats as her way of taking care of the earth’s most vulnerable. 

What I’ve found is that it helps to make treating the earth gently a habit.  For example, many years ago, I read about the Jains.  They are a religious group who practices ahimsa, the doctrine of non-violence. They extend that doctrine of non-violence to even the smallest creatures.  So, they strive to not harm even a single insect.  I found that practice to be just lovely, so I decided to implement it in my own life. 

Inspired by the Jains, it’s now my habit to treat insects with care.  If I find one in the house, I’ll scoop it up in my hands or put it on a piece of paper and escort it outside.  It’s my way of reminding myself that all living creatures are precious, and that I need to walk through this earth gently. 

If you are seeking to have a more peaceful, serene life, embrace the art of gentle living.  Follow the approaches above, and see how a gentle lifestyle will make you so much more content and happier! (To read about how to improve your life by becoming a gentle person, click here.)