How to Align Your Days with Your Values

People often mistakenly think that they’ll be happy if they achieve grand things.  They think getting a fancy job will make them happy.  Or they think that winning awards or competitions will make them happy. Some think that happiness will come if they achieve a certain level of fame. Now, admittedly, achievements can make us feel good momentarily. But achievements won’t make you a happy person.  Rather, happiness comes from making sure that your days are aligned with with your values.

What does that mean?  Well, it means that how you spend each day should reflect what is important to you.  That may sound like an easy thing to do, but it’s not.  In life, we are pulled in so many different directions.  Our employers want our time.  Our spouses, children, family members and friends want our time, as well.  And if we aren’t careful, our lives are can be spent doing only the things that other people value.  And we can end up living a life in which we aren’t doing anything that matters to us.

Now, how do you know if your days aren’t aligned with your values?  Well, you’ll feel frustrated with your life.  Or you may simply wake up with an uneasiness, feeling like your days are something to “get through” rather than enjoy.

If you feel that way, don’t feel badly.  We all get out of alignment, on occasion, in life.  For instance, I went through a period in my life when my days simply didn’t reflect my values.  As a result, most of the time, I didn’t enjoy my life.  Instead, I often just was trying to get through the day.  

But one day, I figured out that I was unhappy because my life was not aligned my values.  It was then that I decided to get realigned! I made the choice to start spending my days doing those things that reflected my values.

If you want to live a happy life, you need to make sure that your days are fully aligned with what you value. Follow the approaches below.  Make sure that your life is aligned with your values, and create the fulfilling life that you deserve.

Decide What Matters Most to You

To align your days with your values, you first have to figure out what it is that you value.  Realize that we’re all different.  So, we all have different things that are important to us.  For instance, some folks value making a lot of money.  Others value having an exceptional appearance.  Some want like to spend their time outdoors, while others are happiest at home.  Others are interested in academic achievement.  And so forth. 

The problem is that most people think that you should value the exact same things that they value.  And they’ll be awfully noisy in their attempts to convince you that you should want the same things out of life that they do. 

So, how do we figure out what it is that we value amidst all the noise that other folks create?  Here’s your answer: Ignore the noise.  And start thinking logically.  Logically speaking, there’s no reason for you and I to value the same things.  For example, if you value international travel, that’s good for you.  But there’s no rational reason why I would necessarily also value international travel.  You may value having a big salary.  That doesn’t mean that everyone is going to share your value of earning a lot of money.  So, you need to accept that you aren’t going to necessarily value the same things as your spouse, family members and friends.  And that’s fine! 

Once you’ve blocked out the noise of others, you then can figure out what truly matters to you.  Once you’ve figured out what you value, you can start the process of aligning your days with your values.

Design Your Days Around Your Values

Now that you’ve figured out what it is that you value, then the next step is to shape your days to reflect those values.  That may seem tricky if you currently spend too much time meeting the needs of others.  So, as a starting point, ask yourself this question: “If I lived alone, and was responsible to no one, how would I spend my days?”

Admittedly, your answer may be alarming because it may be far off from how you live your life today.  That’s OK!  You’re now in the process of turning that situation around.

Start by picking one thing that you value, and then think creatively about how you can fashion a life that reflects that value.  For instance, I value quiet.  I don’t want to hear the drone of a television or other racket when I’m at home.  So, I’ve been able to create a home life in which I either hear nothing but the birds outside my window, or on occasion, I might listen to some classical music.  But mainly, my house is quiet! 

I also value having time to read, think and engage in self-care.  So, when I’m not working or doing household chores, I make sure that my free time is very free.  I give myself lots of opportunities during the week to read, exercise, meditate and study topics that interest me, such as foreign languages. 

When designing your days, realize that your days should be a reflection of you.  How your day was spent should mirror your interests and values.  If your days are mirroring the interests of others, there’s a problem.  So, be sure to design your days to be a beautiful reflection of all the things that make you happy and give your life meaning.

Protect Your Time

The reality is that the world wants your time.  Your employer wants some of your time.  And that’s reasonable because in exchange for your time, your employer pays you a salary.  But other people want your time as well.  Your spouse, family members and friends also want your time.  And if you want your days to truly align with your values, you have to learn to protect your time from the demands of others.

Why do you have to actively protect your time? Well, it’s because most people aren’t concerned about whether you’re spending your time in ways that make you happy and give your life meaning.  Unfortunately, most people are concerned about whether you are spending your time making them happy. 

Now, I’ll concede there are some emotionally mature individuals who care about you and want you to spend your time doing what you value.  For example, my husband is very supportive of me.  So, he simply wants me to spend my time doing what I need to do to make myself happy.  As a result, he gives me the space to use my free time to do those things that I value.  Admittedly, very few people operate like him. 

The reality is that most people are going to try to use up your time to meet their needs. So, you have to protect your time.  And don’t feel guilty about doing so!  Not to put too fine a point on it, but your time is finite.  You aren’t going to live forever.  As a result, time truly is a precious commodity.

So, how do we protect our time?  First of all, you need to learn to say “no.”  Say “no” to activities that you just don’t feel like doing.  Say “no” to doing things for others when you need a day of rest.  And be comfortable with the fact that some folks will kick up a fuss when you say no.  That’s OK.  Their tantrums and fuss aren’t your problem.

In addition, protect your time by saying “no” to the world.  Say “no” to Internet clickbait and 24-hour news coverage.  The world wants to consume our time with endless news stories and incessant communication.  Now, I’ll concede that there are lots of things going on in the world that are terrible.  But you don’t need to give excessive time and emotional energy to reading about issues that you simply can’t influence.  So, protect your time by not paying too much attention to the news. 

Likewise, you should be protecting your time by saying “no” to social media.  Social media is a time waster.  If you go on social media, you can see what other people are doing.  But realize that it’s far better for you to spend your time doing something yourself.  Spend your time doing activities that interest you, rather than watching other folks doing and accomplishing things.

So, remember that your time is your treasure.  Spend it wisely.  Spend it doing only those things that make you happy.  And, of course, let other folks do the same.

End Each Day with A Gentle Reflection

To align your days with your values, you have to learn how to live intentionally.  To do so, take time at the end of each day to reflect on how the day went.  Ask yourself these questions: Was today aligned with my values?  Did I spend my day doing things that matter to me?  Or was my day spent doing nonsense that I don’t care about? 

The reality is that to align your days with your values, you have to become aware of how you actually are spending your days.  You can’t live life on auto-pilot.  So, reflecting at the end of each day as to how you spent your time is a wonderful tool. 

And when you reflect, don’t be hard on yourself.  Not every day will be perfect.  Some days, you’ll get caught up in nonsense.  But the more you become aware you are of how you are spending your time, the more you’ll make choices each day that truly reflect your values. 

If you are seeking to live a life that is aligned with your values, consider following the approaches above.  If you do, you’ll find that your life just feels right.  You’ll feel happier, lighter and your life will be a beautiful reflection of YOU. (If you want to read about how to make better life choices, click here.)